Reason to Fight
by Crystallic Rain
Summary: They'd each chosen their sides. Severus had chosen his Death Eater friends, he'd chosen Mulciber and Avery, he'd chosen Voldemort himself. And Lily, she'd chosen the other side, the side fighting Voldemort. one-sided!Severus/Lily, Lily/James
1. Lily: It Doesn't Make a Difference

**Reason to Fight:  
_It Doesn't Make Any Difference_**

**Notes:** I hope you enjoy this fic. It's something that's been floating in my mind for a while, now.. Also note that this chapter is supposed to take place around the end of their sixth year.

* * *

"_Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"_

_He stared at her for a moment, seemingly turning it over in his mind._

"_No. It doesn't make any difference."_

White-hot anger bubbled inside her, rethinking the conversation they'd had so many years ago.

"_No. It doesn't make any difference."_

It_did _make a difference, a very big difference.

She curled her fingers into her palms, her knuckles turning white.

"_There you go, you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—"_

_He quickly scrambled to his feet. "I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

It had been almost an entire year, and he still filled her with such unimaginable fury. Every time they passed in the hallway a wave of anger washed over her, and she wanted nothing more to hex him, to start the war then and there.

After all, that's what it was, now; a war.

They'd each chosen their sides. Severus—no, _Snape—_had chosen his Death Eater friends, he'd chosen Mulciber and Avery and the others, he'd chosen Voldemort himself.

And Lily, she'd chosen the other side, the side fighting Voldemort. But what did that mean? What did she know about her own side, other than the obvious fact that it was the side of "good", determined to defeat Voldemort and his Death Eaters?

The sudden force of another body colliding with hers sent Lily to the cold, stone floor, her books flying out of her hands.

"Sorry," she distractedly muttered, not even looking at the other figure as she got to her knees, quickly collecting her library volumes and stuffing them into her bag.

"It's my fault," said the other voice. _That voice..._

She looked up suddenly, staring at none other than James Potter. He was now standing up, brushing off the knees of his trousers. He smiled at her, holding out a hand to help her up. She reluctantly took it.

"I suppose I ought to pay more attention to where I'm going, eh Evans?" he said to her, now handing her one of the books she'd failed to retrieve. She nodded absent-mindedly in response, still rapidly thinking about the war against evil she didn't even know how to _begin_ to take part in...

"Well, I'll be seeing you, Evans," James said, running his fingers through his raven tangles and grinning at her before stepping past her, making his way down the corridor.

Suddenly, something seemed to click inside Lily's mind. James, surely _he'd_ know. He was a member of a pure-blood family, a long line of Gryffindors who _all_ would have surely given their lives to fight against evil like this...

"Wait!" Lily found herself suddenly calling after James. He turned, watching her quickly approach him.

"What is it?" he asked curiously, intrigued as to why Lily would ever actually _want_ to talk to him, other than to tell him off.

Lily bit her lip, unsure that she was doing the right thing; surely there was someone else, _anyone_ else who knew what she could do to fight...

"What sort of resistance is out there to fight Voldemort?" she asked in a soft voice.

James blinked, staring at her, and her heart pounded; maybe she had asked the wrong person, maybe he didn't even know what she could do...

Suddenly, a smile spread across his face, and after looking around, he leaned in close to her.

"Supposedly there's a resistance, one led by Dumbledore himself. I mean, I don't know much about it, supposedly it's this secret organisation... Who better than Dumbledore to run it? I mean, he's the only person Voldemort's afraid of. That's why they say Hogwarts is the safest place you can be, right now."

Lily listened intently, eagerly taking the information he was presenting her with.

"Why are you so curious?" James suddenly asked her, a vaguely questioning look on his face.

"I want to fight," she told him defiantly.

"You don't have to be part of any elite group to fight Voldemort," James told her gently. "When it comes time to fight, you know who and what you're fighting for. It doesn't really matter whether you're a member of any resistance, because it doesn't mean anything, really... It's all in your heart," he said, placing his hand over his.

Lily stared at him, pleasantly speechless; she'd never seen this respectable side of James Potter, this valiant fighter. _He knew_, she could tell, what part he wanted to play in this war, what side he wanted to be on.

"Never just stand by and watch, Lily," he told her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "If you want to fight, do it."

"Thanks," she said quietly. "I will."

"Good," he said, turning again to walk away.

"Wait!" she said again. He turned this time, smiling slightly.

"Yes?"

She inhaled deeply. "Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"

"What?" James asked, slightly horrified. "Of course not, Lily, _anyone_ can fight, and they should. It doesn't matter if you're pureblood, half-blood, Muggle-born, or even a Squib. It doesn't make any difference."

She smiled at him, nodding. "Thank you."

He grinned in return, waving as he walked away, leaving her alone in the corridor.

"_It doesn't make any difference."_

The words suddenly bore a new, exciting meaning. To these people, to James, to Dumbledore, to the resistance, to _everyone_ who was fighting Voldemort, it made no difference what she was.

She would do James proud, she knew she would. She would fight until the day that she died.


	2. Severus: It Should Have Been

**Reason to Fight:  
_It Should Have Been  
_**

**Notes:** I hope you enjoy this fic. It's something that's been floating in my mind for a while, now.. Also note that this chapter is supposed to take place around the end of their seventh year.

* * *

She was gone, gone forever. 

And what hurt the most about her being gone was that she was right there, still so close. She was dangling just out of his grasp, just too far for him to reach her.

He saw her, he saw her _everyday _in the halls and it was so infuriating to see; not because of _her_, but the disgusting parasite that had become suddenly attached to her this year.

He saw her, and every time he saw her there was _always_ that _James Potter_ with her. He was always there, talking to her animatedly about Quidditch or something else just as trivial, making her smile or winning the tiniest laugh from her or else worse, _touching_ her, his arm possessively poised around her shoulders, or his hand grasped tightly around hers, or his lips brushing her rosy cheeks.

It made him _sick_ to just see the two of them together, especially when it ought to be him. He should have been the one making her smile and giggle, he should have been the one holding her protectively, he should have been the one, not that_ vermin_, James Potter.

Severus turned away, unable to look at the two of them and their indecent behaviour any longer. He set his attention to the lake in front of him, the glassy water absolutely still on that comfortably cool spring day. He noticed the blossoms on the trees surrounding the lake and the blooming daffodils on the outskirts of the forest.

He tried not to think how many days, as children and even more recently, just a few years ago, they had taken walks down to the stream near her house. There, adjacent to the water was a field of flowers, pure-white daisies, brightly-coloured poppies, vividly blue forget-me-nots, and those brilliant yellow daffodils...

"_I love daffodils." She gently tugged one from the ground, holding it up to her nose. Her red hair was falling in her face, her tiny pale fingers curled around the green stem of the golden flower. "They're so pretty. Don't you think so, Sev?"_

_He smiled at her simple amusement, more captivated by _her_ beauty than the flower's. "Very."_

He quickly glanced back at Lily to see her blushing furiously and laughing slightly as James tucked a bright yellow daffodil behind her ear, so beautiful against her dark red strands of hair. He watched in disgust as James kissed her on the nose, causing her cheeks to turn and even darker shade of pink. Damn it, it should have been_ him_!

After a moment, the couple was approached by Sirius Black who seemed to desperately need James for something, not that Severus cared what. And suddenly, he saw James stand up, releasing Lily's hand. He could imagine her making some effort to keep him by her side for just a second or two longer, but James shook his head, probably making some stupid promise to come return to her the second her could, kissing her briefly on the lips before running off with Sirius.

And then, she was _alone_. For the first time in what seemed like ages, Severus finally saw Lily alone, watching the sun creeping behind the trees and tearing up innocent blades of grass with her fingers.

Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself approaching her rapidly. She noticed him, looking suspiciously at him with her emerald eyes as he drew closer.

"What do you want, Snape?" she asked him coldly, the warmness she'd felt with James immediately melting.

"I want to talk," he told her pleadingly, kneeling in front of her.

"I didn't want to hear your apologies two years ago, and I don't want to hear them now. Leave me alone, just—"

"I'm not here to apologise," he told her quickly.

She raised her eyebrows, getting to her feet and brushing off the back of her jeans, slightly wet from sitting on the grass. "Then here to have a go at James? I don't want to hear _that_ either, Snape." She turned to leave him.

Severus jumped to his feet. "Lily, _wait,"_ he said softly, grabbing her arm.

"Don't touch me," she said, her voice dangerously low., yanking her arm out of his grasp. "James will be coming back in a moment, and he'll—"

"I don't give a damn about that worthless git," Severus told her, anger burning inside him. Why wouldn't she just _listen_?

"You obviously don't give a damn about _me_, either," she said, vehemently.

"No, that's not true. Lily, I...," he paused for a brief moment, inhaling deeply, "I _love_ you."

"What?" she asked blankly.

"I love you, Lily, and_ Potter_ could _never _love you as much as I do!"

She laughed coldly, sending shivers down Severus's spine. "No, he could never love me how much _you_ do. Tell me, do you always call the people you love Mudbloods?"

"Lily, I didn't mean—"

"No, you didn't_ mean_ to say it," she said, shaking her head. "But don't you get it? You_ did_ say it."

Severus was silent for a moment. "I _love _you," he breathed, hoping that repeating it might make her understand.

"Keep your love," she spat, and he thought he saw a tear glistening on her cheek. "I don't want any part of it. Just leave me_ alone."_

She turned, her long scarlet hair whipping around, dancing down her back as she walked up the grass; after a moment she broke into a run, James having emerged once again from the castle. He spotted the redhead running toward him and opened his arms, catching her and spinning her around the moment they met. He leaned down, kissing her on the mouth, her crimson locks becoming tangled around his fingers.

And Severus _knew_ that it _never_ would be him.

Mere weeks later, Severus gazed apathetically at his forearm, a black skull imprinted on it, a horrible snake spewing from the mouth.

Surely this was all Lily ever thought him able to accomplish. He had nothing left in him to try to convince her otherwise. He didn't want to fight it anymore.


End file.
